Krazy A to Z Challenge 2018 – “G”

Gold

Robert Frost is one of my favorite poets. The following is one of his shortest and simplest works, yet it carries so much meaning. At first read, it may sound bleak, depressing even. I challenge you to look beyond the surface, and see, as I do, the wisdom in his words of advice.

Nothing Gold Can Stay, by Robert Frost (1874-1963)

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

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Krazy A to Z Challenge 2018 – “F”

Figaro

I consider myself a pretty avid reader. When I’m on a roll, I sometimes read 2 books a week. Last month, I took a week off from work and had a staycation. I zipped through 4 books.

I’ve also started listening to podcasts. I know I’m behind the times, but now that I’ve discovered them, I’m hooked.

Anyway, my point here is through reading and listening, I often stumble upon topics that pique my interest. And that usually sparks further research. Most recently, I became intrigued with opera.

Considering my favorite music styles are Alt-Rock and Country, it’s no surprise I’ve not experienced a lot of Classical music. Originally, I thought Opera was all about the orchestra, and if I wasn’t attracted to overtures written centuries ago, there wouldn’t be anything in it for me.

But wait, there’s more: the story (drama or comedy).

Even though a lot of great Operas are in Italian, a quick Internet search revealed that opera houses provide subtitles (in English). It was getting better and better, and it turned out I knew more than I thought I did. Much of the music I stumbled across was familiar.

And then it happened.

A memory came to me, which solidified my intent to one day go to the opera.

Bugs Bunny…

Also, here’s some real Mozart…

 

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Krazy A to Z Challenge 2018 – “D”

 

Destiny

[des-tuh-nee]

the predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.

I’ve written about this topic before, but after years and years of contemplating it, I still don’t know if I believe in it or not.

If destiny is real, then my life was always going to turn out exactly as it is. Accepting that means I can stop beating myself up for any mistakes I’ve made. It’s pretty tempting. It also means I have very little power over my own life. Not a very pleasant thought.

So I came up with an idea, two ideas really. What if both of those are true? Or what if neither is?

What if it doesn’t matter? (I guess that’s three ideas, not two).

In the end, though, I can’t help myself. I try. No matter what I’m faced with, I try to orchestrate the best possible outcome.

Maybe I’m destined to struggle against destiny.

 

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Krazy A to Z Challenge 2018 – “C”

Coco

My furry little friend, always happy to see me.

I talk to her. She agrees with everything I say.

She’ll never desert or abandon me, not because she can’t, but because she will never want to.

I am everything to her, and she’ll fight to prove it.

Tiny, but mighty.

Love? An emotion felt only by humans, some believe.

Not me.

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Krazy A to Z Challenge 2018 – “B”

Breathless

On the plane, a woman collapsed next to my seat on the aisle in row 2. She had already fallen twice, each time insisting she was fine. Now a flight attendant was trying to help her to her seat. As she dropped to the floor, for the third time, her hand reached for the armrest of my chair, slipping off when her weakened body gave way. Slumped in the arms of the flight attendant, she let out a soft whimper, her pale face directly in my line of vision. Her eyes rolled back in her head while muffled cries rang in my ears. Then silence. No sound. No breathing.

Passed out, fainted, lost consciousness, for what seemed like an eternity.

My heart was pounding. My stomach churned. Dread washed over me.

Then finally, miraculously, she raised her head.

“Where am I?” she asked. “Am I in my seat?”

“No.”

“Please take me there,” she said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

The flight attendant held tightly as he guided her to row 12. Someone began talking on the loud-speaker.

“Are there any medical personnel on board?” There was a doctor.

They were nearing row 12. I turned my head and glanced toward the back of the plane, just in time to see fall #4. She was not fine.

As soon as we landed, EMT’s boarded the plane. Once I was able to exit the plane, I saw her being pushed away in a wheelchair.

She was awake and breathing. But, definitely not fine.

Now, days later, my mind still replays that scene – her breathless, motionless body, my restless, powerless mind.

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Krazy A to Z Challenge 2018 – “A”

Acceptance

I’ve read there are 5 stages of grief, and lately I’ve come to believe in them. There’s an order to them. That’s where the gray area comes in for me. It seems fairly plausible that feelings experienced after the occurrence of a traumatic event can be categorized and even generalized to an extent. But I don’t necessarily agree this can be neatly plotted on a timeline, as if one ends and the next begins. In my experience, healing from grief is complicated, confusing, and messy. Regardless, my need to find logic even in emotion makes me gravitate toward the idea that when something bad happens, I’ll gradually work my way through the stages, and feel better.

The 5 stages are as follows:

Denial

What it feels like: “This isn’t happening, it can’t be happening, everything is still ok.”

Signs it’s almost over: Everybody knows the bad thing happened, even strangers. It feels ridiculous and exhausting to keep pretending it didn’t happen.

Anger

What it feels like: “Crap, this is happening! Why?!? It’s not fair! I hate the Universe!”

Signs it’s almost over: Not punching walls anymore or breaking things or generally being mean to everyone.

Bargaining

What it feels like: “Please, Universe, give me another chance. I promise, I’ll do better this time, I’ll be better, I’ll do anything.”

Signs it’s almost over: Nothing is left to offer as leverage.

Depression

What it feels like: “I give up. You win, Universe. I’ll never be happy again.”

Signs it’s almost over: Ability to go 48 consecutive hours without crying or feeling like crying or thinking about crying.

Acceptance

What it feels like: “The bad thing happened, but it’s gonna be ok.”

 

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A Trip Down 2017

Rang in the new year at Casa Cranzini with my closest friends

Went on a luxury cruise with Austin and two of my best friends

Took Austin out for the best sushi dinner on his 21st birthday

Went to Las Vegas during March Madness

Threw an awesome Seder with even more awesome people (and great brisket!)

Saw 21 pilots with one of my best friends at the Gorge in Washington state (Epic)

Celebrated my 50th birthday in my favorite city, Seattle

Spent a respectable amount of time writing and painting with some of my best friends, who continue to inspire my creativity every day

Said “so long” the greatest neighbors (and friends), knowing for certain I would see them again and always remain as close as we were regardless of distance

Weathered a rough storm thanks to all the wonderful people in my life

Shared a delicious thanksgiving meal with family and friends…and beer

Played in the snow with 3 year olds

…and those are just the highlights.

I am blessed to have had many more memorable times this year.

Thank you Universe…mean it.

Krazy A to Z Challenge 2017 – “W”

Washington

42nd state to join the Union on November 11, 1889, Washington State is home to Mt. Rainier, which to my surprise is an active volcano and the highest point in the state. The mountain’s tip is about 14,000 feet above sea level, which is well below Mt. Everest at over 29,000 feet, but it is still pretty impressive. Mountainous terrain for me is very uncommon, considering I have lived in Florida for almost my whole life. The highest point in my state is Britton Hill at a whopping 345 feet above sea level. And believe it or not the highest point in Broward County, Florida is 25 feet above sea level. To learn more about Mt. Rainier, check out this site.

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